just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize