dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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