I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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