I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize