Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
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