tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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