Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
