well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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