I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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