Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
