NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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