so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
