Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
