Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
