you mean i was at the winter classic?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
