New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
