I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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