remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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