what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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