You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
