Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
