u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
