I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
