Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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