no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
