you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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