he thought i was a dude.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Randomize
