you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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