do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
