so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
