i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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