Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
zippers are such a cool invention
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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