I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
