I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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