AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
