so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
