i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
