let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
