Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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