do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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