So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
ttyl tear gas
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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