"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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