chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
