dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
