Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
