No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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