i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
