sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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