My room smells like vodka and shame
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
