Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize