Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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