Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
