Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
