Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize