at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
