he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
